"Happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is complaining that leads people to becoming unhappy."...Dennis Prager
Oh my goodness, take a look at this woman's face while she's complaining on the phone. Doesn't it speak a thousand words? I get stressed just looking at her and can only imagine how she feels inside..sick, bitter, anxious, worried, fearful, panicked...the list goes on and on. I get exhausted just thinking about the heavy burden of negative thoughts and emotions that the people who chronically complain continuously carry around. This waste of time and energy cannot bring about anything positive, can distort our vision of reality by making things look worse than they really are, and will create so much tension in the body and mind that will eventually damage our health.
So how can we break the habit of complaining? I guess like any habit, the first step would be to realize how addicted we are to grumbling and griping and then create a plan to quit. When I say to quit complaining, I am not advocating passive acceptance of all unpleasantness in our lives. If something is disturbing us and we have the means to take action and change this, then by all means let's go for it. But we must realize that the complaining can never make taking "effective action" easier. It will only make it harder for us to focus on what needs to be done.
To help break the habit, I've read that using a physical reminder of our "no-griping" promise, such as placing a stone in our pocket and then transferring it to another pocket when we catch ourselves engaging in complaining. The idea of this is that is that "in time, our body will retrain our mind". I'm going to try this out, and I think I'll use one of my new stones I purchased on my recent vacation:
In addition to above strategy, I'm going to practice the Law of Karma and witness the choices I make in every moment. The best way to prepare for any moment in the future is to be fully conscious of the present. I will ask myself "what are the consequences of this choice?" and "will this choice bring happiness to me and to those who are affected by this choice?". Lastly, I will ask my heart for guidance, and be guided by its message of comfort or discomfort. I will pay close attention to how it feels, and if the choice feels uncomfortable, then I will not make that choice.
There are always things to complain about if that's our choice. Instead of noticing the beauty of the flowers, we can complain about having to water them. The more we complain, the more unhappy we will feel. It is not a person, the past, a situation, an event, or anything else that is causing our unhappiness - it is the choice to complain about it instead of discovering what is wonderful about it and being grateful for it.
"Let not my heart be troubled", will be one of my twelve commandments of my Happiness Project.
My video today is once again "Silouhettes", from America's Got Talent. They performed last night in the finals and were simply fabulous! I won't spoil it and say the place they finished, but will say that I'm so grateful for being witness to their beautiful expressions over the past few weeks. I will miss them. But in the words of Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.". Here is their final performance from last night; a beautiful duet with Leann Rimes, enjoy!
Cheers!
Linda
