"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."...Leo Buscaglia
We all have experienced worry. Worrying, until recently was a special trait of mine. I'd worry about everything from the unopened bills sitting in my mailbox to what will happen to my son when I'm gone. I'd worry about being late, test results, unreturned phone calls, performance appraisals, the list goes on and on.
Managing our emotions is an ongoing process. When we're worried and wracked with anxiety, those feelings occupy us at the expense of too many other things. I've been there. I, like you, have known a great many troubles but most of them never happened as they were simply my imagination at work. When we worry, we are essentially directing all our thoughts towards a "possibility" that we dislike. Worrying is something that can lead to stress, and we know that stress can make us sick. Excessive worrying is needless, crippling, can paralyse us with fear, and is really destructive to happiness. It may also seriously interfere with our day-to-day functioning, which of course could lead to many other problems in our lives.
I decided a couple of years ago that I had enough of it and seeked out practical solutions. Now, while I still experience some degree of worry, it has significantly dropped both in number and duration. I deal with it much better. Now I believe most worry could be avoided by learning good thinking habits, by refusing to over-estimate the significance of possible failures, by taking a larger perspective and by facing fears squarely.
Here is one quote that I remember helping me understand the uselessness of worry:
"If the problem can be solved, then why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will do you no good".
From this quote, I gained that initial worry can have a purpose; it can alert us to possible situations that might happen so that we can adequately prepare for them (such as writing a will), or to do something positive (like seeing the doctor if you discover a mole). The problem occurs when it's a situation you can't do anything about, when it's trivial, or when you already have an adequate solution, but continue to dwell on it. This is when worry can impact how we live our lives and how we relate to other people.
There are some ways to teach yourself to beat worry and live a more relaxed and happy life:
1/ Train your mind - you control your mind, thoughts. Replace your "worried thoughts" with powerful and calming words, words that inspire hope and optimism, to help remind you that worry is counter productive, usually groundless, and one of the most destructive habits we have. Use breathing techniques or daily meditation may be something you'd like to try.
2/ Don't only worry alone. Use logic, talk it out with somebody and debate the worry away. Get the facts.
3/ Don't plan out imagined negative situations in your head!!
4/ Stop procrastinating and take action. You'll feel more in control of the situation.
5/ Pay attention to how your body is feeling. This will help clear out the lingering worry you may be unaware that you're still carrying around.
6/ Accept that worry comes - but face the fear and then let it go.
Don't worry - you'll make steady progress on your worrying behaviour! If you can get on top of worry, and you can because you control your thoughts, you can get on top of anything!
My video for today is of course the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
(I bet that was obvious, right?)
Hope you all have a worry-free and happy week!
Cheers!
Linda
