"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."...Lewis B. Smedes
The decision to forgive yourself or somebody else is a vote to live in the present moment.
"I'll never forgive my friend for that!" "I can't forgive myself!" Are these familiar expressions? If we refuse to forgive somebody, then we are really saying, "Instead of taking some action to improve matters, I prefer to live in the past, and blame somebody for it. (or blame myself)." When we won't forgive ourselves, we are actually choosing to stay on a guilt trip so we can put ourselves through some extra mental anguish.
When we withhold forgiveness of others, WE suffer. Half of the time, the "guilty" person does not even know what's going on in our head! The "guilty" party continues to happily breeze through life while we put ourselves through so much mental anguish. It is no wonder that we are advised to "forgive those who trespass against us!" It is the only way we can remain happy and healthy. You may be thinking that there are those who do not deserve your forgiveness. I think unforgiveness is one of the greatest causes of sickness because a sour mind creates a sour body. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination. So, you don't have to forgive others for their sakes, you forgive for your own sake.
When we forgive others, we take away their power to hurt us. The mistake we make so often is to hold on to hurt. We go around bitter and angry, but all we're doing is allowing those who hurt us to control our lives. It's bad enough to have been hurt once; don't let that continue to hurt you by staying angry. Someone may have lied to you, betrayed you, or mistreated you, but what they did was not enough to keep you from the awesome future that's in store for you. "Forgiveness is not about being nice and kind; it's about letting go so you can reclaim the amazing future that awaits you."
Although I agree it may be very hard at times, but I believe we all have the ability to forgive. It is a process, it doesn't just happen overnight. But if you continue to have the desire to forgive, and even ask for help with forgiveness, then little by little those negative feelings will fade. One day they won't affect you at all.
When we choose to forgive, I've read that a marvellous principle comes into operation. As we change, others change. As we alter our attitude toward others, they begin to alter their behaviour. Somehow, the moment we choose to change the way we see things, others respond to our changed expectations. Imagine what a happier place the world would be if we could be more forgiving!
I believe that it is always our choice whether we get on with our life and live in the now, or whether we chain ourselves to grudges and upsets of the past. I'm not saying it's always easy, but it is our choice. And it will make us happier if we do.
Here is one video I watch when I just want to "cleanse" my spirit and let go. There are many available on youtube, but I particularly love this one.
Have a wonderful day and weekend!
Be happy. Be well.
Linda
