Holiday De-Stress Tips

"As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives that are worth our aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same."...Donald E. Westlake

As much as I love Christmas, I do, like many, find this time of year a little stressful.  I know "T'is the season to be jolly", but sometimes it is easier said than done.  If you think about it, we all say throughout the year how tired and wired we are just coping with our regular day-to-day business, now suddenly we are to manage decorating, wrapping, cleaning, baking, cooking, travelling, parties, etc. etc. all on top of our regular load.  The crowds and holiday shopping alone can be a nightmare (especially taking our kids with us!).  In addition, it's that time of year when we're feeling a little run down with colds or just plain tired from getting a little less sleep each night.  And oh the snow...so far, fortunately, we've (in Ontario) been spared the good old dumping that predictably arrives just in time for an official "white Christmas", but I know that's not the case in so many other locations.  I like snow, but I share your pain in shovelling it when we've got so many other things to plan and do.  I wish snow could just sit and glisten prettily on tree branches and melt when it reaches ground!

Lastly, I would not want to forget that all the extra socializing, for many of us, can also add to our stress metre.  This time of year we are often forced to make merry in many new and different situations with people we either hardly know or we'd rather not know!  With our energy banks already low, this wonderfully cheery time of year could turn into a disaster if we are not proactive in managing our stress levels.

So how can we stay grounded and present and truly let ourselves feel the holiday spirit?  How do we survive the added pressures and still remain positive, happy and in good cheer throughout the holidays?  Over the years, I've read the usual stuff, remember to eat properly, sleep, exercise, pace ourselves, take breaks, limit spending and avoid drinking too much.  While that's still good advice, I thought this year, I would include more of the positive psychology that I truly believe in and write about on my blog.  As I'm learning more about the value of accessing positive emotions each day, I'm going to include this into my Christmas routine to reduce or limit the effects of stress overload.  This includes: practicing gratitude (don't take good fortune for granted), watching a funny movie (laughter), write out five good things that happen each day, engage in activities that give me pleasure, talk and make plans to visit friends, playing and having fun with my kids, practice generosity, read an inspiring book, random acts of kindness, practicing meditation to name a few. 

I've also found this exercise to help me relax into gratitude, my own strengths and my highest values this season.  This positive intervention has so far been both fun and helpful and I hope you give it a try too:

1.  Shop for a Holiday notebook - pick out a design that pleases you, something that you will want to use and feel comfortable using it.  It does not have to be fancy or expensive.  When waiting in line to pay, practice simple breathing exercises, for example -- inhale on a count of five, then exhale on a count of eight.

2.  In your new notebook, write down the best holiday experience you ever had in a few lines or paragraphs.  Then close the book and spend about fifteen minutes mulling over that positive experience while you do something else.

3.  Come back and write down ten short phrases that sum up why that "best holiday" was the best.  Here are some examples from people who have done this "all my kids were there", "no deadlines", "didn't have to cook", "biggest Christmas tree ever", "had all the shopping done early"

4.  Describe that best holiday to someone you trust.  Share the ten phrases and talk over what made it good.  When you put an experience into spoken words, you are making it more clear to yourself.  Chances are, even if you didn't realize it, your best holiday was one in which you were using your strengths, meaning character strengths and gifts that are particular to you.  The best holiday scenario most likely did not result in becoming over challenged by having to do many things outside your inventory of strengths.

5.  Tell your companion what you liked best about yourself in the "Best Holiday" scenario.  Make a pact with your companion that you will give up one thing that you do at the holidays that you hate doing.  Write down what that thing is.  It may be something that you think you should do, but does not fit with your "signature strengths".  Then look over your ten phrases, choose one of them and promise to do some version of that thing again this season.  Invite your companion to share a "best holiday" story as well.

When the holidays are over - be sure to write in your book what worked well this year and if there is anything, what you'd never want to do again.  Store your book in a safe place to use for next year!

Above all, I feel the most important thing to remember is that genuine happiness is about how we feel on the inside.  We can keep ourselves in a healthy state of mind not through the fleeting pleasure of tasting fine food, wine or receiving the latest gadget, but by making a conscious decision to enjoy the holidays as much as we can, by savouring those thoughtful, sentimental moments, and in knowing that this happiness is contagious, your close family and friends will be happy too when they see your glow.  We all benefit when we can awaken the joy within us!

Here is another Christmas video to get you all warm and fuzzy for the holidays, enjoy!

Cheers!
Linda