Monday, February 06, 2012

Keep Your Year On Track

"Never to wrong others takes one a long way towards peace of mind."..Seneca


I cannot believe it is February already.  Our groundhog last week predicted an early spring.  Hurray for that!  I do know however that is not the case for everyone around the world.  But I think we can all say at least we're over the winter "hump".

So, how's your year going so far?  If you're like me, you too have been faced with some unexpected hurdles.  Are your goals, or resolutions for the year staying on track?  I hope all of you are doing great, but it is good from time to time to review how things are going and have a look at how you can make the rest of your year even better.

I'd like to share four valuable questions that you can ask yourself all the time to keep yourself on track towards a better life.  Perhaps they are new to you or maybe they are just healthy reminders that can help you to focus your mind and actions once again.

Q.1  How can I give value to this situation?

This is a great way to improve your relationships and interactions.  Four awesome reasons to give value in your everyday life are: 1) it makes you feel awesome, 2) you tend to get what you give, 3) it makes your life a whole lot more fun and 4) it makes it easier to start new relationships or improve old ones.
What value can you give in a situation to another person?  Well, a bunch of suggestions would be:  bringing a positive attitude to situations, being kind, helping out in a practical way, lending a listening ear, cheering someone up, offering useful advice or creating a fun/exciting situation for people in your life.

Q.2 - Would I rather be right or be happy?

Right in this question means the need to judge, the need to be right while interacting with other people.  It's not just about the gal who can't be wrong in a discussion though.
It's about the thought that you don't always have to be against people or things.  You don't have to exist in a "me against the world" or "me against someone" head space.  You don't have to defend positions all the time or build walls.  You can let go of the mentality that says "someday I'll show them all!".  You can just relax, be cool and be with people instead of being against them in some subtle or not so subtle ways.
Feeling like you are right can bring some pleasure.  But beyond that there is a lot more connection, happiness and positivity to be found.  I like this question when I feel like I have to be right or judge.  Or when I just have a feeling within that I should just re-examine my current beliefs to move forward.  I often find something helpful by doing so.

Q.3 - What is the most important thing I can do right now?

If you are lost in what to do next in your day, week or life, ask yourself this question.  The answer may not always be what you want to hear because the most important thing is often one of the harder things you want to do too.  But it can help you to check your priorities and stop you from getting lost in busy work and instead start tackling the really big stuff that will improve your life in any area in the long run.

Q.4 - What do I think is the right thing to do?
 
One of the hardest things to do in life is the right thing.  What "you" think is the right thing, not what your friends, family, teachers, boss, and society think is the right thing.
What is the right thing?  That's up to you to decide.  Often you have a little voice inside your head that tells you what the right thing is, or a gut feeling.
Here are three reasons to do the right thing:
1)  You tend to get what you give.  I already mentioned this as a reason to give value.  By doing the right thing, you tend to get the same things back.  Give value to people, help them and they will often want to help you and give you value in some form.  Unfortunately, not everyone will do it, but many will, not always right away, but somewhere down the line.  Things tend to even out.  Do the right thing, put in the extra effort, and you tend to get good stuff back.  Don't do it, and you tend to get less good stuff back from the world.
2)  To raise your self esteem.  This is a really important point.  When you don't do the right thing, you are not only sending out signals out into your world, you are also sending signals to yourself.  When you don't do the right thing, you don't feel good about yourself.  You may experience emptiness or get stuck in negative thought loops.  It's like you are letting yourself down.  You are telling yourself that you can't handle doing the right thing.  To not do the right thing, it's like punching yourself in the stomach.
3)  To avoid self sabotage.  A powerful side effect of not doing the right thing is that you give yourself a lack of deservedness.  This can really mess you up and your success.  If you don't do the right thing in life, then you won't feel like you deserve the success that you may be on your way towards or experiencing right now.  So you start to self sabotage, perhaps deliberately or through unconscious thoughts.  By doing the right thing, you can raise your self esteem and feel like a person who deserves her success.

I hope these questions will help you continue to make this year your best one yet.

My video today is the theme from "Friends".  The words mean a lot and can be applied not just to your friends, but extend to family, colleagues and people in your community.


Have a great week everyone!
Cheers!
Linda

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I liked most of this, you know, there are some people in life that are just "takers", they seem to always need, want something from us. I'm not sure if I agree that things even out and we'll get value back from these people later. I hope I'm not being negative here. I really believe some people want us to give give give...
But I do agree that with many, it happens that the feelings are mutual and you love giving to "each other", and you add value to "each other's" lives. It feels good when this happens.
K

Josie said...

K, I was thinking the same thing. Many in my life, my kindness, help, etc. are returned, but in my experiences yes there are a few people who are just takers, never giving anything, and logic would say to dump these people out of our lives..but sometimes that just is not possible...
Josie

Margaret said...

I think kindness generally is returned. But of course yes, there are some (friends, family) who tend to want more than they would ever expect they have to give.
Margaret

Terez said...

I liked the series of questions and enjoyed the blog.

I have to agree with Margaret, some people cross the line, and take advantage of other's kindness and generosity. They want too much and as said, have no intention to ever return the kindness back. Those people are what I call "users".
Terez