Cast Away - A Story Of Hope, Love and Faith

"Hope is about believing in the potential in us for a life that is greater than the one that our frightened and limited ego has designed, a wisdom larger than our thinking mind can muster, and a love wider than that which we embrace our immediate circle of friends."...David Richo

I realize I overuse this picture on my blog, but my rocks and those precious little hands (belonging to my kids) are my constant source of inspiration.

My daughter is currently reading "The Hatchett" in her grade six reading program.  It's about a thirteen year old boy whose plane crashes and then finds himself alone on the shores of an island to survive with nothing except a hatchett.  Now, that sounds like a novel study I would look forward to!  I love tales of survival.

Yesterday, she came home and excitedly stated that her class is planning to watch the movie "Cast Away", and that I should feel jealous as it's one of my favourites.  I guess I was a little jealous so I watched the movie again.  I'll be frank with you, I have watched this movie several times and never tire of it.  This is because Cast Away is a fascinating tale about the human spirit's indomitability and the overpowering need we have to believe in something.

In Cast Away, Tom Hanks plays Chuck, a time-sensitive (obsessed) FedEx systems analyst whose cargo plane goes down somewhere in the south Pacific on Christmas eve.  He's left alone on a deserted island with no modern day conveniences such as his trusted pager and cell phone.  How ironic it was for him, a man who lived by the clock, speed meant everything, never quite having enough time, not even enough to propose to his girlfriend before boarding the ill-fated plane, to be stuck on an island with nothing but all the time in the world!

The only tools he had for survival were the contents of a few washed up FedEx parcels. His physical survival was the least interesting part of the movie for me.  We knew from his background that he was an intelligent, creative problem solver, who was also a certified sailer.  His basic needs were swiftly met, well, with the exception of making fire.  The only time on the island we actually saw him happy was when he finally succeeded in this troublesome task..

But there was so much more to this movie than basic island survival.  This movie has come to mean a lot to me for the pondering of the mental survival components, how can one survive through the boredom, the isolation, the dire conditions without losing hope that one day rescue will come?  How can you survive and stay motivated year after year under those conditions?  I think for Chuck, it came down to love, faith and having a mission - to keep one package intact so that one day he will deliver it.  This package was decorated with angel wings and symbolized hope for his future.

Inside another FedEx package, he found a volleyball, which Chuck transformed into a faithful companion as well as his "alter ego", named Wilson.  Wilson helped him cope with the social isolation he experienced throughout the four long years he was forced to endure otherwise alone.

He also had a picture of his girlfriend inside a broken pocketwatch.  His love for her gave him constant strength to keep going and kept him connected to his past and the outside world.  A world he hoped to someday return to.   

So I believe he survived with the help of having a link to his past (the picture of his love), a companion in his present (Wilson), and a goal for his future (deliver the package).

Well, there was one more thing he had with him and that was God, or a spirit that helped him through a desperate time.  In this scene he describes a "feeling of warmth" that came over him and then he knew that he had to have faith, to believe, to have hope even though logic says there was none.  He had to keep on breathing because "tomorrow the sun will rise". 

That was a beautiful message in the movie.  It's so inspiring.  Times can get tough, incredibly tough, but we can always count on the sun rising again and we have to keep going on.  Life is a precious gift and we should never forget it.  I also liked how he acknowledged that although he was sad to have lost Kelly again, he was grateful that she was with him on the island.  Even in despair, he was still grateful so I knew something good was soon going to come his way!   

So, of course the sun did rise again for Chuck and what was that "something good" that the tide brought in the next day?

I love this ending.  He has choices now.  But I think from that little smile we can also assume he will have a future with Bettina and maybe that was meant to be.  After all, a part of her was also with him on the island all those years.  And when he finally delivered the package he enclosed a note that said "This package saved my life.".

Great movie!  If you have seen this movie, I would love to hear your thoughts and interpretations.

Cheers!
Linda

The Power Of Hope

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.  I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.  I hope I can make it across the border.  I hope I can see my friend and shake his hand.  I hope that the Pacific is as blue as it's been in my dreams.  I hope."... narrated by Red, at the conclusion of the movie, "The Shawshank Redemption"

"I hope."  Those are probably the two most powerful words we could ever speak.

I recently wrote a post about the destructiveness of worry on our current state of well-being (happiness).  One comment really took me by surprise, asking "what else is there to think of besides worry when we look off to the future, when we have problems?".  All I could think to reply was to try hope and optimism.  In this post I will examine the positive effects of hope and optimism in more detail, and give you a method on how to build it.

Throughout our life, we will all experience difficult circumstances or problems of one type or another.  That's a part of life's journey.  That's a part of how we learn, grow and survive. When we lack control over a situation, we can become particularly vulnerable to hopelessness.  Having the ability to bounce back from adversity is crucial to happiness and life satisfaction.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back and adapt to the demands of stressful situations.  It is believed to play an important role in our well-being and positively influence people's health and general functioning.  Resilient people have a sense of hope and optimism for the future.  When things go awry, the outlook we hold can make or break our persistence.  A positive and optimistic outlook gives us a sense that despite hardships, things will turn out fine and we will find a way to manage and cope with our struggles. 

When we are faced with difficult times, there is no doubt that negative emotions like fear, worry or anger will attempt to close down our minds and our hearts.  But accessing positive emotions like hope, pride, interest and love, literally open our minds and hearts.  We need that openness if we're going to face the challenges with clear eyes and come up with creative solutions that will allow us to come through the difficulty even stronger than before.

When we experience positive affect, we show a greater preference for a larger variety of actions and see and think of more possibilities and options to solve whatever problem we face.  People with positive affect are more likely to take action.  They are proactive.  And people who habitually experience positive emotion are more resilient over time and develop a greater sense of emotional well being. 

So how can we identify ourselves as a person who is currently optimistic and hopeful?  According to Martin Seligman, in his book "Authentic Happiness", whether or not we have hope depends on two dimensions taken together.  Finding permanent and universal causes of good events along with temporary and specific causes for misfortune is the art of hope; finding permanent and universal causes for misfortune and temporary and specific causes of good events is the practice of despair.  People who make permanent and universal explanations for good events as well as temporary and specific explanations for bad events, bounce back from troubles briskly and get on a roll easily when they succeed once.  People who make temporary and specific explanations for success, and permanent and universal explanations for setbacks, tend to collapse under pressure, both for a long time and across situations and rarely get on a roll.

If you find yourself on the pessimistic side, there is a well documented method for building optimism that consists of recognizing and then disputing pessimistic thoughts.  The key to disputing them is to treat them as if they were uttered by an external person, a rival whose mission in life was to make you miserable!  

Everyone already has the skills of disputing.  Once you recognize that you have a pessimistic thought that seems unwarranted, argue against it using the ABCDE model.  A stands for adversity, B for the beliefs you automatically have when it occurs, C for the usual consequences of the belief, D for your disputation of your routine belief and E for the energization that occurs when you dispute it successfully.  By effectively disputing the beliefs that follow an adversity, you can change your reaction from dejection and giving up to activity and good cheer.

Now you can try this in your daily life over the next week.  Don't search out adversity, but as it comes along, tune in carefully to your internal dialogue.  When you hear negative beliefs, dispute them.  Beat them to the ground, then record the ABCDE.

It's important to always be aware of your perspectives and beliefs about yourself, your circumstances, the world and your future, and realize that shifting your views can prompt that positive feedback loop you need to begin an upward spiral in positive emotion.

My video today is a scene from the movie Shawshank Redemption, where Andy and Red discuss hope...

So what became of Andy and Red?  Well, Andy always had hope and never lost it, and Red eventually became hopeful.  Together, they created the most satisfying ending to a movie that I have ever witnessed.

In my opinion, Shawshank Redemption was the best hope-inspiring movie ever made.  It's brilliant.  If you've never seen it, you must.

Never lose hope, my friends...

Cheers!
Linda

Positively Wonderful School Days

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echos are endless."...Mother Teresa

This morning, I got a head start on practising one of my Happiness Project's resolutions - practising patience.  My son's special needs bus (which I also ride as a travel assistant) was one hour late arriving.  My abilities in this area were definitely tested, but my patience was later rewarded by the kindness of my son's teaching assistant.  When we finally arrived at school, not only was my son greeted with the warmest, most welcoming smile, but he also said that he had just called our house to offer to come and pick us up with his car, just so he would not miss school!  He deserves a medal for going above and beyond what is normally expected from a teaching assistant.  He is one of those fortunate individuals who finds his job so meaningful and rewarding that he wouldn't want to miss a single day of it.  And we too are very fortunate, as my son is a direct beneficiary of the pride and dedication he applies to his work each day.

There is a definite correlation between happiness and being able to perceive how one makes a living as a vocation or a calling, rather than simply a job or work.  When we believe our work to be meaningful, we will reach a heightened sense of gratification and fulfillment, and will not only perform better and be happier ourselves, but that happiness will spread to others we interact with throughout our day.

Last week was parent-teacher interview day in our community.  A few years ago, a time when I would consider myself much less positive than I am now, I would arrive at the interview with my son's education plan in hand and several questions (perhaps criticisms or nit-picking may be better words to describe) ready to discuss.  In other words, I used to arrive more on the negative side than the positive side.  Since I have lightly created a mindset of being positive, I can now arrive at these meetings with an open heart and mind.  Because of this change, I notice more, I see clearer and this helps me focus on the "big picture".  I am better able to plan ahead and creatively help come up with new ideas about what we might do next.  I believe this change to a more positive attitude has also made me trust the school system better and appreciate and value the hard work of the teachers.  Our meeting went beautifully because of the positive emotions we both were feeling towards my son, the class, the program and each other.

Something very special that my son's teacher shared with me is that his class is hard at work learning a special song for the annual ASD Showcase of Talent.  My son even has a solo part to sing and I'm told he has a beautiful voice!!  Now, hearing a comment like that is music to my ears!  He has also been putting together a special slide show presentation that will be shared during the solo instrumental part of the song.  I cannot wait for the show because it's also one of my all time favourite songs "Lean On Me".  Hearing his teacher talk about how well the rehearsals have been going simply melts my heart!

My video today is of course "Lean On Me", the original version by Bill Withers.  The lyrics are beautiful, it's about true friendship.  Of course I know there will not be a dry eye in the house when their school version is performed next spring.  Enjoy!

Have a positively wonderful week everybody!

Cheers!
Linda

Framing The Positive Argument

"To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven."...Johannes A. Gaertner

We know that having a grateful attitude is very important to a happy life.  It boosts our energy, makes us healthier, and increases our engagement with people.  I believe it's a very important part of life to think about ways of being grateful, and there's a way we can help ourselves adopt that frame of mind because of something we can call "argumentative reasoning".

Argumentative reasoning is a very common psychological phenomenon where we're very good at making arguments for ourselves and what happens is we frame a position in our mind and we marshal up evidence to support that position and then we feel like we've arrived at a well justified, well reasoned chain of thought to get to a particular conclusion.

But the interesting thing is that people are usually just as good at making the "opposite" argument, to argue the opposite side, if they'd only try, but usually only one side is ever argued to ourselves.  So what I'm trying to do now is if I find myself thinking something, I try to argue just the opposite to myself, and it's uncanny just how effective this is.  For example, if I find myself thinking "I'm a terrible cook", I could think of several reasons why I'm a terrible cook or examples of why I'm a terrible cook, but then if I think to myself "I'm a pretty good cook", I could also think of all sorts of reasons and examples of being a good cook.

So the way that I can do this with gratitude is when I find myself feeling resentful or ungrateful for something, I go out of my way and "flip it" and say I'm grateful for it.  So for example, if I ever say to myself "I really hate doing the laundry", I can flip it and say "No, I'm grateful for being able to do the laundry and I have many reasons for being grateful", and in fact when I frame that positive argument with myself, I'm suddenly filled with reasons why I'm grateful..I have a working washer/dryer, I have nice clothes to wash, I have the time and strength to do this work today.

I tried this out with my family over the weekend when we became stuck in traffic.  We started to hate being stuck in traffic and then I suggested that we should be grateful to be stuck in traffic, we own a car, it makes our life easier than taking the bus, we are comfortable, we can talk to each other while we wait, etc.  It does immediately take away negative feelings when we stop and think about gratitude.

If you ever find a day when you really can't think of anything at all to be grateful for, where you can't find a way to find a positive argument, one thing that is always there is nature.  We can always be grateful for the beauties of nature, and it's always available to us, seven days a week. 

"There is indeed something inexpressingly pleasing in the annual renovation of the world and the new displays of the treasures of nature."...Samuel Johnson

Hope your day continues to be a great one!

Cheers!
Linda

Don't Worry Be Happy

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."...Leo Buscaglia

We all have experienced worry.  Worrying, until recently was a special trait of mine.  I'd worry about everything from the unopened bills sitting in my mailbox to what will happen to my son when I'm gone.  I'd worry about being late, test results, unreturned phone calls, performance appraisals, the list goes on and on.

Managing our emotions is an ongoing process. When we're worried and wracked with anxiety, those feelings occupy us at the expense of too many other things.  I've been there.  I, like you, have known a great many troubles but most of them never happened as they were simply my imagination at work. When we worry, we are essentially directing all our thoughts towards a "possibility" that we dislike.  Worrying is something that can lead to stress, and we know that stress can make us sick.  Excessive worrying is needless, crippling, can paralyse us with fear, and is really destructive to happiness.  It may also seriously interfere with our day-to-day functioning, which of course could lead to many other problems in our lives.

I decided a couple of years ago that I had enough of it and seeked out practical solutions.  Now, while I still experience some degree of worry, it has significantly dropped both in number and duration.   I deal with it much better.  Now I believe most worry could be avoided by learning good thinking habits, by refusing to over-estimate the significance of possible failures, by taking a larger perspective and by facing fears squarely.

Here is one quote that I remember helping me understand the uselessness of worry:

"If the problem can be solved, then why worry?  If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will do you no good".

From this quote, I gained that initial worry can have a purpose; it can alert us to possible situations that might happen so that we can adequately prepare for them (such as writing a will), or to do something positive (like seeing the doctor if you discover a mole).  The problem occurs when it's a situation you can't do anything about, when it's trivial, or when you already have an adequate solution, but continue to dwell on it.  This is when worry can impact how we live our lives and how we relate to other people.

There are some ways to teach yourself to beat worry and live a more relaxed and happy life:

1/  Train your mind - you control your mind, thoughts.  Replace your "worried thoughts" with powerful and calming words, words that inspire hope and optimism, to help remind you that worry is counter productive, usually groundless, and one of the most destructive habits we have.  Use breathing techniques or daily meditation may be something you'd like to try.

2/  Don't only worry alone.  Use logic, talk it out with somebody and debate the worry away.  Get the facts.

3/  Don't plan out imagined negative situations in your head!!

4/  Stop procrastinating and take action.  You'll feel more in control of the situation.

5/  Pay attention to how your body is feeling.  This will help clear out the lingering worry you may be unaware that you're still carrying around.

6/  Accept that worry comes - but face the fear and then let it go.


Don't worry - you'll make steady progress on your worrying behaviour!  If you can get on top of worry, and you can because you control your thoughts, you can get on top of anything!

My video for today is of course the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
(I bet that was obvious, right?)

Hope you all have a worry-free and happy week!
Cheers!

Linda

Remembrance Day

"The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God"...quoted in the Angels' Little Instruction Book, by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

Today as we both honour and remember our brave service men and women, those who paid the ultimate price with their lives during World War I and II, Korean War, Afghanistan, Libya and various other conflicts as well as peace-keeping missions, we can as a nation, share a common sentiment in an age of cynicism, that "the values of our veterans held many decades ago, are still very much alive today in those who continue to serve our great country"...Stephen Harper.  Canada's men and women in uniform share a traditional sense of respect for institutions, authority and public trust.

So today, on this eleventh day of the eleventh month and for the first time ever, the eleventh year, we will collectively share a moment of silence on the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour, and remember our heroes, our veterans.

If I may on this post today, I would also like to write a special remembrance to my uncle Earl, who passed away this week at the age of 83.  I write a lot on my blog about trying hard to not let things get us down, to try and be happier, to show gratitude and enjoy life, for it's a precious gift that we are given, and should not be wasted, not even a single day.  My uncle very bravely fought a painful illness for fifteen years, but the pain didn't kill his spirit of living.  He enjoyed life to the fullest, along with his wife of 59 years and children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  Even with being blessed with eighty-three years, he would still be the first to say "life's too short".  I will remember him as having a zest for life, and often wearing a smile or sharing a joke.  God bless you, and may peace be forever with you.

With warm thoughts and happiness,

Linda

The Power of Our Thoughts

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you;  You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."...James Allen

I'm a believer in the law of "Sow and Reap", simply put, if you sow the seeds of corn, you'll reap corn, if you sow the seeds of love, you'll reap love back.  It's a huge part of my happiness project as it can be applied to so many aspects of life.

These principles can apply to relationships and they can apply equally to what we reap in the other dimensions of life.  James Allen, in his book, "As a Man Thinketh", put it beautifully when he wrote...

"Every man is where he is by the law of his being; the thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there, and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all result of a law which cannot err.

 Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which his circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself.

That circumstances grow out of thought every man knows who has for any length of time practiced self-control and self-purification, for he will notice that the alteration in his circumstances has been in exact ratio with his altered mental condition." 

That passage is taken from a timeless classic and written by a true genius.  It's so interesting and thought provoking.  Is it possible that we are literally what we think and our character is the sum of all those thoughts?  I believe in the power of thoughts, especially the power of spoken words.  Words are like seeds.  When we speak them out and continue to listen to them and believe in them, then they can become a reality in our life.  Sometimes our thinking is directed by our inner-critic who can say some pretty harsh things.  I encourage in myself and would in others not to say negative things about ourselves (I'm slow, I'll never get that position etc.), because I feel that is just setting limits in our lives.  If we want to know what we're going to be doing five years from now, listen to what we're saying about ourselves.  It's very important to be saying only good things about ourselves every day without fail.  Sometimes we would never even consider criticizing another person, yet we don't have a problem criticizing ourselves.  We deserve better from our thoughts.  Let's practice saying positive things to ourselves each day - in the shower, in the car, wherever we want, just say "I'm talented!", "I'm a creator", "I have a bright future ahead!".  And listen!  It will immediately improve our self image.  I'm a big believer in this.  Learning to change a negative inner diaglogue is a fundamental way to change how we feel.

We can't beat the law of sow and reap.  Our physical health, our mental health, our business success and our personal relationships are each governed by the same equation which requires us to "pay up front".  The fascinating thing about the law is that we never know when we we will be rewarded; when we will receive the fruits or the dividends on our time, effort and especially our thoughts.  But the rewards always come and the uncertainty of their time of arrival only serves to make life more exciting!

Today's video - I have found that James Allen has many inspirational quotes on the power of positive thoughts, and this one is the perfect example of that.  Enjoy!

Hope the video has inspired you to have an awesome day and week.  Remember - "to desire is to obtain, to aspire is to achieve."

Cheers!

Linda

To Forgive, Divine

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."...Lewis B. Smedes

The decision to forgive yourself or somebody else is a vote to live in the present moment.

"I'll never forgive my friend for that!"  "I can't forgive myself!"  Are these familiar expressions?  If we refuse to forgive somebody, then we are really saying, "Instead of taking some action to improve matters, I prefer to live in the past, and blame somebody for it. (or blame myself)."  When we won't forgive ourselves, we are actually choosing to stay on a guilt trip so we can put ourselves through some extra mental anguish.

When we withhold forgiveness of others, WE suffer.  Half of the time, the "guilty" person does not even know what's going on in our head!  The "guilty" party continues to happily breeze through life while we put ourselves through so much mental anguish.  It is no wonder that we are advised to "forgive those who trespass against us!"  It is the only way we can remain happy and healthy.  You may be thinking that there are those who do not deserve your forgiveness.  I think unforgiveness is one of the greatest causes of sickness because a sour mind creates a sour body.  Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination.  So, you don't have to forgive others for their sakes, you forgive for your own sake.

When we forgive others, we take away their power to hurt us.  The mistake we make so often is to hold on to hurt.  We go around bitter and angry, but all we're doing is allowing those who hurt us to control our lives.  It's bad enough to have been hurt once; don't let that continue to hurt you by staying angry.  Someone may have lied to you, betrayed you, or mistreated you, but what they did was not enough to keep you from the awesome future that's in store for you.  "Forgiveness is not about being nice and kind; it's about letting go so you can reclaim the amazing future that awaits you."

Although I agree it may be very hard at times, but I believe we all have the ability to forgive.  It is a process, it doesn't just happen overnight.  But if you continue to have the desire to forgive, and even ask for help with forgiveness, then little by little those negative feelings will fade.  One day they won't affect you at all.

When we choose to forgive, I've read that a marvellous principle comes into operation.  As we change, others change.  As we alter our attitude toward others, they begin to alter their behaviour.  Somehow, the moment we choose to change the way we see things, others respond to our changed expectations.  Imagine what a happier place the world would be if we could be more forgiving!

I believe that it is always our choice whether we get on with our life and live in the now, or whether we chain ourselves to grudges and upsets of the past.  I'm not saying it's always easy, but it is our choice.  And it will make us happier if we do.

Here is one video I watch when I just want to "cleanse" my spirit and let go.  There are many available on youtube, but I particularly love this one. 

Have a wonderful day and weekend!

Be happy.  Be well.

Linda

Make Someone Happy

"Happiness is an attitude.  We can either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same."...Francesca Riegler"

I love the above message, but I'll admit that I can also become happy through receiving gifts from others.  I'm happy and grateful when someone pays me a compliment, helps me out, or shares their knowledge.  A cup of tea tastes ten times better when someone's kindness makes it for me.  I'm also cheered by hearing someone else's good news.  I'm thankful knowing a person would want to share their blessings with me.  I believe the greatest happiness comes from the sentiment, and not the gift itself.

But what brings me most joy and happiness is in the giving.  Think of Christmas or another holiday season, isn't it the giving of gifts that is so much more pleasurable than receiving?  That good feeling does not have to be delayed until birthdays and Christmas.  It's possible to have it every day.  The gift of giving should be 365 days a year.  This spreads joy to others and returns even more back to yourself.

In the words of Oprah Winfrey "I don't think you ever stop giving.  I really don't.  I think it's an on-going process.  And it's not just about being able to write a check.  It's being able to touch somebody's life."

I ride a school bus with students with special needs each day.  There is one boy who is unable to communicate with the other kids and only has a few words of speech.  I knew this boy last year too, on my afternoon route.  Until recently, all I ever saw him do was fall asleep, almost immediately after boarding.

He sits across from me now and each morning I greet him with a smile and a little wave.  At first he did not respond and still went to sleep.  I continued giving him big smiles and waves each morning and then added in short phrases like "Hi!!", "nice jacket!".  Finally, he started smiling and waving back.  Slowly, he began saying "Hi" and "Bye" to me.  Last week he initiated a mini conversation with me - one simple beautiful word - "Happy".  It melted my heart.  Now I softly sing little tunes to him with the word Happy - and he claps along!!  He no longer falls asleep on the bus ride!!  His teachers could not believe it today.  I think they thought he was just an extremely tired boy!

I hope he knows how much joy he brings me each morning!

The fact that we can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me, continual spiritual exercises. 

My video today is the classic "Make Someone Happy", it's a very nice old tune.  I often think it's the old simple songs that deliver the sweetest messages.  Enjoy! 

Make someone happy.  Make just one someone happy.  And you, will be happy too.

Cheers!
Linda

Who Gets Your Back?

"There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace and ultimately no life without community."...M. Scott Peck



Of all the characters on Lost, I think Sawyer was the most entertaining to watch overall.  Even in the early seasons, when he often displayed selfish "every man for himself" behaviour, he still showed moments here and there where we discovered a decent, caring human being - it was just buried deep inside all the pain he was carrying around.  Kate saw it first, and then Jack.  Those two helped Sawyer learn about the power of creating community.  A community that looks out and cares for one another.

In season 5, the time travelling season, Sawyer emerged as a leader, one most everyone respected, trusted and loved.  I think this happened because in one fleeting moment, he allowed himself to be vulnerable with Juliet.  In this scene, she's about to leave the island on the submarine and start her life over.  He convinces her to stay a little longer, not by his usual joking, but by admitting that he "needs" her when he says "who's gonna get my back?".  Sawyer was expressing his fear of being alone again.  It's a very touching scene...

As it appeared on television, this scene aired immediately next, with the caption "3 Years Later.."

Ahhhh that scene was so sweet.  I thought the actors and writers did an amazing job selling the audience their love story.  I found it completely believable.  Though we didn't see those three years on the screen, we could see the positives changes in them both, but especially Sawyer.  He earned the respect of everyone and with that he helped build a new community of people who trust and care for one another.

Being vulnerable can be risky, but it can definitely be worth it, when you feel the moment is right.  It's a good feeling to know that someone out there "has your back".  When you allow yourself to become vulnerable from time to time, you may become a person who finds it easy to take chances in life.  And I think that could be a good thing.

Okay, I'll end it at that thought.  Here is one last clip of my favourite Lost couple.  This is their last scene together in the finale, when they are "awakened".  It's so cute..but I'll admit that I cried like a baby when I watched it!  It was that good..

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Cheers!

Linda