The Squeeze of The Sandwich Generation

"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong.  Some time in your life, you will have been all of these."...Dr. Robert H. Goddard

One thing that can honestly be said about living life in the sandwich generation, is that we often feel "squeezed", don't we?  We have so many responsibilities to our children, our marriage, our parents, our home and of course, ourselves.  I know, I put ourselves last on the list!  This writing is of course from my own perspective..sometimes yes I'm last, but not always.  Thinking about it, for the most part my first 32 years was all about me, my happiness, my choices, my goals and sharing all that in marriage.  The next 13 years has been mostly about raising our children as best as I know how, putting their needs ahead of my own as necessary and taking care of my parents (last nine years only my mother) as needed and to the extent that I'm able.  I'm in the sandwich, and while my mom's needs are growing, my kids needs remain about the same and that's why this Pickle at times feels squeezed. 

I just want to make one thing clear about me, I'm neither a saint nor a martyr.  I'm far from a Supermom, a Mrs. Perfect or a Mrs. Cleaver.  I accept myself for doing my best even though I do it imperfectly.  I do place others ahead of myself, but I leave some in my cup for "me" everyday and I'm not at all suffering.  I'm happy overall, sometimes tired, usually without a nice haircut, but indeed I'm happy!  I think it's okay to talk about struggles in life without complaining. 

While it is at times demanding, and will only get more difficult, when you have spent your whole life with a parent and you love them, what alternative is there but to help them in their time of need if that is possible?  I hope I am not offending anyone, because I do know it may not always be possible.  My recent experience with my mother following her hip replacement surgery and her extended recovery period has showed me that even the most independent people want to know that their children will be there to help when they both need it and wish for it.  I really didn't think our home and my care would be enough for her, but as it turned out it was exactly what she needed and wanted.  When it was all over last weekend, I was relieved that a weight had been lifted, but at the same time I felt happy for being able to give my mom something back, she's helped me many a time and it felt good to return her kindness.

So what will the next 10-20 years bring?  One never knows the future, but the sandwich will change no doubt.  I guess I'll slowly move from pickle to my favourite slice of bread that I'll share hopefully with many grandkids on the other side.  But, let's not rush things!!  Remember, one day at a time...

My video for today, well I had to pick one about a family, and the one I chose was the only one that our whole entire family growing up sat around the television and enjoyed watching together, The Waltons.

And yes, there were three and sometimes four generations living together happily under one roof.  I wonder if Olivia Walton ever felt squeezed?  Also, in my opinion, this show had the very best piece of instrumental music ever written for a television theme.  Here is the original theme from Season 1, Enjoy!

Cheers,

Linda